Does It Get Easier?

[ROCHELLE CASTER]

Hey guys, Ditzen here.


A very close and oldest friend of mine passed away yesterday. She was struck by a vehicle, her mother found her and she was gone almost immediately as she arrived at the hospital. I'm heartbroken right now. I'm not sure how to deal with this. Does it get better?

When I was 12, I didn't have any friends. No one would talk to me. But she did. She was special. Her friendship lasted for 12 years and only ended in death. Heaven welcomed another angel, it really did, and now she gets to have Christmas with Jesus.

I woke up this morning and checked Facebook just make sure it wasn't dream or some bad joke she's playing on us. I miss her. She was gonna be an aunt to my babies, I'd have been bridesmaid at her wedding. We'd have been the coolest old ladies at the retirement home. Instead of making memories with her, I only have memories of high school, middle school, crazy parties and youth. She'll never be old.

I'm so lost and I don't know if I'll ever be happy again. When I was sad, she'd cheer me up. Who cheers me up when she's gone?

Sorry if this is really depressing, I just really need to talk someone and husband is sleeping.

[FELIX FAIRBOURNE]

Hey Ditzen,

First of all, let me express how sorry I am for your loss. Nobody should die young, and to be taken in such a way is truly heartbreaking. I have never been in the position you're in, but I can imagine how terrible it must be; I have lost family members that I have been close to, and friends of mine have been in similar situations to yourself, and I can say with confidence that the pain does subside, but of course, it never truly goes away.

You will always hold a special place for her in your heart, and that place will hold memories and thoughts of your time together. Remember the good times you had together, and never let that leave you. If you have pictures, videos or letters from her, then frame them, immortalise them and make sure you look at them as often as you can. To quote Sirius Black: "The one's who love us never really leave us." And that is the key. It will not be the same, but your friendship will live on, until you are reunited. You will feel happiness again, but be patient, and think about what your friend would want you to do.

Sorry for the rambling, but I hope it helped somewhat. If you need to talk, anytime, then my PM box is always open. Sometimes talking to a stranger can help.

Jon.

[ROSE NIGHTDREAM]

As ssomeone who has attended the funeral of many many classmates I can confirm it DOES get better. You wont want it to but it will. The best thing you can do is mourn for now. Come to terms with the loss and then look back on your time and realise just how lucky you were to kknow her. She may not be there in in body anymore but the more you think of her the better her memory will be preserved and honoured. The best thing you can do is celebrate her very existance. No matter how short.

If you ever want someone to speak to, I make a good shoulder.

I hope you feel better eventually and we all here will always be here to for you.

Kim

[MATTHEW SVEN JOHANSON]

Death hurts most when it's unexpected. I lost a cousin just minutes after he was born. Knowing he never got to see all of the great things on earth (he did escape the bad stuff) is heavily painful. Well, it was back in March and April anyways. It does get better though. The good thing to take from this is that she is with Jesus and you'll see her again in Heaven.

I am kinda new here, but I have a tendency to pray alot. If you ever have need of a prayer, shoot me a PM.

Aaron

[Deleted]

Ditzen,

I probably have few words that can ease the shock and pain you are currently feeling. Perhaps the best way to deal with what happened is to feel your emotions surrounding what happened as well as how much you love her. The emotions may feel very overwhelming at the moment, but it does get better. Maybe see if you can find a way to commemorate her -- write a poem or write about her, sing, look through old photos -- whatever helps you to honour her. Everyone here has given you such beautiful words. I can only echo them. It does get better -- eventually. The pain going away does not mean you stop loving her or missing her, and being happy again does not mean she becomes any less special to you. I hope the pain goes away as soon as possible, so that you can live in those good memories and cherish her love and light without being brought down by sadness. 

Sending love your way. As everyone else has said, you are welcome to PM or speak to us here about how you are feeling. You are welcome to at any point, whether it be now or in a few months time. I find that after a few months, there are less people around to give support. So, if you need us then too, we are always here for you. 

Sarah

[ROCHELLE CASTER]

Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I'm actually feeling better today.